Green Skies, Blue Grass
by Blaze Moonlight
Summary: A collection of moments: smiles, tears and anger. The lives of two Hufflepuffs. Zacharias/Justin slash. A mixture of prompts, requests and random ideas from a variety of genres.
1. 55 In and Out

_**55. "Twenty-year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters. Which they should do more often." (Note: Oil filters can be replaced with a magically appropriate term)**_

"You just don't get it do you!"

"Oh I get it alright! You're jealous! You wish you could me more like me!"

"Do you know something? I thought you were going to say something jaw-droppingly smart when you started that sentence. Apparently I was wrong."

"About what? Are you denying the fact that you're jealous that _I have_ a girlfriend?"

"No – because I'm not jealous of _you_ for _having_ a girlfriend."

"Well what are you jealous of then?! And don't say you're not jealous!"

"…"

"Say it!"

"Her."

"What?"

"I'm jealous of _her_ okay! I'm jealous of the fact that all your time is spent on her and all you ever _do_ is talk about _her_ and _think_ about _her_ and _look_ at _her_. She's your everything now Zach! So yeah – maybe I am more than a little jealous."

"Why would you be jealous of that? She's my girlfriend and you're just my friend. You aren't even my best friend so it can't be that best-friend-wants-attention that Ernie tries to pull, _you_ aren't even interesting enough to _try_ and be attention seeking."

"OH FOR MERLIN'S SAKE! SHALL I JUST SAY IT?!"

"If you will?"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU! I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR YEARS! You're just too wrapped up in whatever girl you're with each week to notice!"

"Ha-ha. Very funny Justin. Now try telling me something serious."

"I _am_ serious!"

"No you're not. You couldn't be in love with me."

"Why the HELL not?!"

"Because twenty-year olds fall in and out of love more often than they clean their broomsticks. Which they should do more often. You're **not** in love."

"I am though!"

"Shove off if you're going to be an idiot Justin."


	2. 33 Loss

_**33) Character one- "So how badly did I just screw up?" Character Two- "On a normal scale of one to ten; six. On ____'s scale; eleven."**_

"Hey Hannah, – Zach, I was wondering…"

"Oh, you're back. Listen I know we were planning on going out tonight but…"

"But what?"

"Well, Ernie has a spare ticket to the Magpies/Kestrels game so whatever you were planning on us doing tonight, forget about it."

"For a Quidditch game."

"Well yeah! It's the _Magpies _and the _Kestrels_ in the same match and I can go _free_. What could possibly be better?"

"Nothing I'm sure."

"Awesome, do you mind finding my coat by the way, because the match'll probably last a while and it'll be freezing later.

"As a matter of fact I can't. I only stopped by to pick up my own coat – I've got other thinks to be doing so I guess I'll see you when the match is over."

"Right – see you then."

"Twat."

"Pardon Hannah?"

"You are a selfish bastard. Do you ever think of anything other than yourself?!"

"Of course I do!"

"Did you not _hear_ how annoyed he was? Justin _never_ gets annoyed, not even at you, so therefore you're little 'I'd rather go watch Quidditch than spend time with you' moment was clearly way out of line!"

"I didn't say that!"

"Not in as many words – but it was definitely there. Merlin – anybody else would have finished you a _long_ time ago."

"Stop being such melodramatic bitch Hannah."

"You really have no idea do you?"

"Huh- what are you on about?"

"I'm on about the fact that you have a loyal, gorgeous, charming, intelligent, amazing boyfriend who could have anybody he wanted without even trying and yet he stays with _you_ of all people. You take him for granted; act like a complete bastard towards him; and you're insensitive, self absorbed and generally a crap boyfriend. You don't even seem to care about him, let alone love him. He has absolutely no good reason as far as I can see to carry on putting up with you and your attitude but he continues to do so anyway because _he_ lovesyou. So yeah – you're a jerk.

"So… how badly did I just screw up?"

"On a normal scale of one to ten; six. On Justin's scale; eleven."

"Oh come on – don't you think that's a bit of an overreaction."

"Well… considering that it's your anniversary and he was planning on proposing to you tonight if he could work-up the courage to ask…"

"Shit!"


	3. 11 Broken

_**11) "______, you idiot; have you been at the Firewhiskey again?" **_

BANG!

"I hate this life!"

Justin Finch-Fletchly pushed at the door handle nervously. He didn't want to intrude of Zacharias' privacy but…

He opened the door and walked into the mess that was Zach's apartment.

There was stuff everywhere. Dirt up the walls and clothes, shoes and empty cans scattered across the floor. Sometimes is scared him how much the battle had messed them all up. Harry and the others could preach all they wanted about support and care and recovery but in the end they were far too wrapped up in themselves to have any idea of the way that the war had affected people. There were no heroes – only cowards and losers. Sometimes he wished he could have been with the cowards. He would've taken Zach with him.

But what did anybody know? That 'Order' with all it's moral superiority, Potter with all his fans and glory, the ministry with all its power and lies, the populace with their whitewash victory. Like there had been any true heroes…

He walked through to the kitchen and balked at what he saw. Today was worst than most.

His blond friend was sprawled over the floor in old clothes. His hair was a mess and there were dark rings around his eyes. Justin sighed.

"Zach, you idiot; have you been at the Firewhiskey again?" he said gently, slipping to the floor next to his friend debating what to do.

He could try and help Zach but he knew from experience that it probably wouldn't work, Zach would yell and swear and lash out until Justin was forced to back off. His other option was to just let it be. If he did that he'd never live with himself. To join the ones who chose give up on Zach would be the worst kind of failure. What Zach had seen as he fled the school, labelled a traitor, to defend Hogsmeade Village was enough to destroy even the bravest man's faith in the world.

Fully aware of what he was risking he slipped his arms around hysterical blond and pulled him close.

Zach deranged mutterings ceased instantly.

Justin resisted the urge to tense and he prayed that Zach wouldn't flip out. He could take the beatings and hexes and deep-wounding insults but if Zach could hold them in then maybe, just maybe, things were getting better.

"So much pain…"

Justin pulled the blond close. "It'll be okay."

His voice was so much stronger than he was. Because inside he was scared that maybe it wasn't going to be. Zach had always been the brave one, the Hufflepuff just laden with Gryffindor courage and Slytherin wit and his Quidditch leadership skills. All Justin had was going for him was 'hard work.' He was never the leader or the fighter or caregiver. He was just Justin.

And now he was Justin who was desperately trying to help a broken man hold himself together. So much of the time it was like nothing had ever happened. Zach was lucid and coping, with no memory of his own breakdowns. Justin would slather on the bruising cream and 'episkey' himself. Six days a week they were the perfect example of unscathed survivors. On the seventh they were just holding it together.


	4. 32 Real

_**32- She smelled like- grassparchementromancebeautycinnamonlemonfreshnessintrigue- she smelled like (insert name here).**_

Zach lent in closer to the girl. He didn't even know her name. He didn't even care. He wasn't looking for names he was looking for something to lose himself in. Some way of forgetting all the memories of war and pain and bloodshed. He let his tongue touch hers as they staggered towards the exit of the bar. His hands were everywhere as where hers. As their bodies collided he caught the scent of her hair. It was a strange, exotic, familiar smell.

She smelled like- grassparchementromancebeautycinnamonlemonfreshnessintrigue- she smelled like his shirts did after that time he made Justin do his laundry.

That was an odd thought. Strangely grounding. More real than the past few weeks had been. A memory of warm, solid reality. Not the dank, sordid escape routes he'd been sliding down.

The girl was still active but he wondered now if it was a bad idea. After all, when he thought about it, he needed a new quill and possibly some more parchment and if he got himself completely wasted tonight he'd not get to the shops until at least the next afternoon and by then they'd be busy. Not to mention the fact that now he was fighting the intoxication the girl wasn't even all that pretty.


	5. 5 Eyes

_**4- 'When is the last time you looked in the mirror?'**_

"Urgh – bloody hell."

"What's wrong?"

"All those bloody girls!"

"What've they done?"

"I've been asked on this stupid Hogsmeade trip twelve times already!"

"And your problem with that is?"

"They're a bunch of sad losers who are only asking me because they're desperate to find somebody for Valentines Day!"

"That's not very nice – some might really like you."

"Yeah right! Only the mental ones!"

"When was the last time you looked in the mirror?"

"Pardon?"

"You heard me – when was the last time you looked in a mirror."

"Does it matter?"

"If you'd looked in a mirror recently you'd know exactly why all the girls are chasing after you."

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about now?"

"A mirror would explain everything."

"Or you could just tell me before I hex you into next week!"

"You're mind blowingly hot."

"What? Are you seri- HEY! Oi! Don't walk away from me! Justin! JUSTIN!!!"


	6. Care

**This one isn't a prompt - it's just an idea for this pairing. It was originally going to be a oneshot but I decided to merge it with this instead. I haven't said this before but I was looking at my reviews to readers ratio and isn't not all tht great so... reviews please?**

"Are you okay?"

Justin jerked his head up, turning his shoulders slightly so as to make eye contact.

"Yeah," he sighed, his tone as exhausted as he looked, "Just doing some reports."

Harry gave a sympathetic nod, since the war there had been so much more work to do to re-stabilize the wizarding world. There had been so much death and destruction that it was only logical that the population of the wizarding world would have to really work to put things back together again.

That was why Justin was sitting at a desk writing page upon page of information that had been damaged or destroyed and couldn't be replicated by magic. It was an important task but one that was clearly wearing on the dark haired ex-Hufflepuff. Harry vaguely wondered what Justin had wanted to do before the war and if the, now yawning, young man would ever be able to achieve whatever it was he aspired to.

There was a quiet creak from behind him as the room's door opened. Glancing over his shoulder Harry saw, to his mild surprise, the tall figure of Zacharias Smith. The blond looked as composed as ever, but, Harry thought, he didn't seem to radiate scorn with the strength that he used too – he seemed more human.

Smith was holding two steaming mugs and he strode past Harry without acknowledging him and placed one of the mugs on Justin's desk with a small thud.

Justin glanced up as he heard the noise and placed his quill down to look at Smith. The bright smile that blossomed over Justin's face as he did so looked out of place with the circles under his eyes and that pallor of his skin.

"Thanks."

Smith only shrugged at response and turned to walk away.

"Hey-," Justin continued, "How did you guess what I was wanting?"

Smith rolled his eyes, "It seemed obvious."

The words were loaded with contempt but Justin seemed impervious that as he turned back to his work remarking, "You're perceptive. Thanks Zach."

"Don't call me that," Smith shot back but Harry noticed with shock that, although Justin wouldn't be able to see it, Smith was smiling.

Harry didn't think, no he knew, that he'd never seen Smith smile before. It just wasn't the sort of thing Zacharias Smith did.

The door swung shut behind the blond and Justin had returned to his copying.

He was smiling too.


	7. Some Day

**77 - The Girls will Gossip**

"AND MAYBE IF YOU PULLED YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR _ARSE_ FOR A MOMENT!"

"What's going on?" Ginny asked Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones as the two Hufflepuff boys glared at each other, still fighting.

"Oh it's nothing to worry about," Hannah laughed, "Justin and Zach are just having a moment."

"A moment?" Ginny responded, confused, "How come?"

Susan smiled, "Well on the surface it's about Zach being a prat to some third years _again_. It's mostly UST though I think."

"UST?" Ginny replied baffled.

"Y'know," Hannah said, "Unresolved sexual tension…"

"WHAT?! You're kidding right?"

Susan shook her head, "You don't believe us? I thought it was rather obvious."

"Erm, no," Ginny said, "Could explain this theory to me?"

"Sure," Hannah complied, "It's simple really."

Susan nodded, "Justin has been interested in Zach for just under a year now…"

"…he'll even admit to anybody who asks him nicely enough," Hannah continued, "But he has no intention of telling Zach and is desperately trying to pretend he isn't interested."

Ginny nodded, that part made a strange sort of sense, "But if it's one sided…"

"One sided? As if," Hannah laughed, "Zach might not admit it but if you pay close enough attention it's really quite blatant."

"Are you sure?" Ginny said doubtfully.

"Who wouldn't be into _Justin_?" Hannah giggled, "At least a little I mean."

Ginny smiled, it was certainly true the older teen was more than a little charming and very easy on the eyes, whilst she didn't have any sort of crush on the Hufflepuff she wouldn't deny that he was very attractive.

"They remind me of your brother and that Granger girl," Susan said distractedly, "They act like friends and then every now and again one of them ends up instigating a fight as a way of dealing with the attraction. Justin uses to remind him that Zach isn't perfect as a way of trying to get over him and Zach just uses it a chance to talk Justin."

"Strangely," Ginny muttered, "That makes sense…"

"Of course it does," Susan laughed.

"So what exactly do you think is going to come of this?" Ginny asked.

"Of this fight?" Susan shrugged, "Nothing. Justin's far too restrained and Zach's to oblivious to both of their real feelings. They'll scream at each other for a bit and then try to carry on like normal."

"Oh…" Ginny said with a twinge of disappointment.

Hannah patted her arm gently, "It's okay. One day, and I'm sure of this, one day they're just going to spot mid-fight and snog each other senseless."

The three girls giggled as Justin Finch-Fletchly stormed scowling away from a frustrated looking Zacharias Smith. One day…

**A/N - Review? Please... Reviewers get the chance to make up a prompt!**


	8. 40 Astronomy

_**40- 'Do I get to find out what this is for?' 'No, it's embarrassing.'**_

Zacharias Smith pushed a stray strand of blond from his face. Everybody loved his hair – but damn it could get annoying. He stared blankly at the paper watching the words on it blurring into nonsense. He twirled his quill in his fingers and frowned. He was freezing. Stupid astronomy homework, making him go stand around on tall towers in the middle of the night, in January. He tugged his shirt sleeves lower down his arms as he opened up his telescope case and began to get it out. He needed to locate and note down the position of virtually everything in the sky – a job which could take hours. He'd probably wind up hypothermic by the end of the night.

Within twenty minutes he was numb all over and beginning to wonder if it was really worth this much effort to pass one stupid subject.

He felt a cloak falling across his shoulders and resisted the urge to jump clean out of his skin.

"I'd say you're stupid for not bringing a cloak up here," came the familiar voice of Justin Finch-Fletchly from just above his shoulder, "But I didn't either…"

"Therefore intellectual superiority goes to me," Zach laughed, turning awkwardly around, "Because you should have known better."

Justin shrugged at him and smiled. Zach noticed that the dark-haired already had the beginnings of a pink tinge in his cheeks – was it that cold? Damn.

"It's nice that you get to experience it once in you life," Justin quipped.

"Still, you coming here for a little midnight rendezvous on the astronomy tower – it's certainly a treat."

Justin spluttered and ducked his head, reaching into the book bag that was still slung over his shoulder and fishing for something.

"Anything interesting in there today?" Zach asked, knowing Justin's inclination to carry 'all sorts of strange crap' in his bag.

"Hang on," Justin replied; yanking out a sheaf of parchment, "There you go."

"What is it?" Zach said, reaching out tentatively for the paper.

Justin raised his eyebrows, "It won't eat you if you take it and read it to find out. It's just my notes. To give you a general fix and speed you up."

"Letting me read your homework – that's very generous of you," Zach said, rifling through the sheets looking for the relevant information.

Justin shrugged.

"Do I get to find out what this moment of generosity is for?" Zach continued, pulling out what he needed from the stack.

There was a long pause.

"No," said Justin finally, "It's embarrassing."

"Oh go on…" Zach whined, "What in the world inspired you to climb all the way to the top of the Astronomy Tower to let me copy your homework?"

"I was bored…" Justin muttered.

"Huh?"

"I figured that the sooner you finished this the sooner I've have somebody to talk to," Justin shrugged, "And I knew you'd be cold so I grabbed your cloak."

"And not your own?" Zach teased, "You get dumber by the day."

Justin gave another shrug and sat down on the floor next to Zach's bag, "It's not that cold."

Zach rolled his eyes and then paused, "Why are you sitting down?"

"I'll get leg ache if I just stand still," Justin explained.

"Hang on – you're staying?"

Justin frowned, "If you'd rather I left…"

He looked a little offended and Zach sighed, "I could use some company."

Almost instantly a radiant smile blossomed across the dark-haired teen's face.

"I'm not going to be good company," Zach added hurriedly, "I'm doing my homework."

"No," Justin laughed, "You're copying my homework with minor alterations. Re-angle your telescope and at least sit level with me if you're going to be dull."

Zach considered protesting for a moment on the grounds that it would look foolish to be sat on the floor but if only Justin was going to see then he supposed it didn't really matter. He slid to the ground beside his housemate and returned to his work, progressing much faster now he had a reference to work from.

It must have been half an hour later when he felt the sudden weight on his shoulder. He looked down in surprise to see Justin leaning on it.

"I'm not a pillow," Zach snapped, going to push the teen away.

"You'll do…" Justin mumbled sleepily without opening his eyes.

Zach glared at the sleeping boy for a few minutes. Justin didn't move except for the occasional light shiver.

Zach rolled his eyes, shifted his weight slightly and flung his cloak across the sleeping brunet. Justin Finch-Fletchly was weird.

**_A/N My offer to reviewers still stands._**


	9. Teen Romance, of a kind

**A/N - I'm experimenting with a slightly new style of writing for this (one of the reasons it's a little longer than usual - actually, it's longer than quite a few of my one-shots - I got a little carried away) so I'd love it if people could tell me what they think.**

Zacharias Smith was many things. He was a jerk, he was arrogant and he was selfish. It wasn't surprising that many people were baffled as to how he made it into Hufflepuff. He was lazy, judgemental, and cruel. He just didn't work with the 'nice', 'pushover', 'soft' stereotype of the black and yellow house.

The placement of Justin Finch-Fletchley was easier explained. He was, when he wanted to be, one of the most hardworking people in the school and for all of his faults, once you had his loyalty it would take a lot for him to withdraw it. He had traits from the other houses too: he was a firm believer in chivalry and had been all his life; he was highly intelligent (a combination of hard work and a natural talent that probably could have rivalled Hermione Granger had circumstances been different), and he was determined. Despite his work ethic he was also a firm believer in efficiency, he lacked ambition but should he set his mind to something then that something _would _happen by any means necessary.

Of course, there were others in the Hufflepuff house. The increasingly pompous Ernie Macmillan was one; whiny Wayne Hopkins was another. Even when Hufflepuffs did get a moment in the limelight it was rarely Finch-Fletchley or Smith.

Except of course when it came to Quidditch, because for all that people might deny it, Zacharias Smith was one hell of a chaser. Maybe not the greatest captain ever, or the most gracious loser, but a damn fine chaser. Not league level by any means (professional sport was best left to the likes of Flint and Wood, both long ago graduated) but more than exceptional enough for a school team. Smith had earned his recognition in the school.

That wasn't to say Finch-Fletchley wasn't much appreciated. Indeed, many of the younger students close to worshiped him; even despite the fact that the older (and cooler) members of the Hogwarts populace generally overlooked him. Nevertheless, when the entire third year and below view you as some sort of superhero a few snobbish upperclassmen are easily over looked - especially when you know you're better than they are anyway. It wasn't as if he was glory seeking either. The only thing it had taken to start his fan-base was for Justin to attempt to mediate a minor argument between two Second years, something he saw as the most natural action in the world. Upon reaching a peaceful agreement, both boys had graced the older teen with their total respect. This sort of thing happened all too regularly for Justin Finch-Fletchley. Harry Potter may be the-boy-who-lived and _The Chosen One _to the general public but to the lower years of Hogwarts the true hero was Justin Finch-Fletchley, defender of first years, stopper of arguments and finder of missing belongings. Not to mention very good at helping with homework.

In case you haven't figured it out yet - the two teens had two very different social circles. Zacharias was very much the gorgeous and cool but unpopular jerk to all those except his closest friends. Justin was the classic 'boy next door': cute, charming and friendly but relatively unknown.

It was the male equivalent of chick-flick cliché just waiting to happen.

Surprisingly it never did...

... Until seventh year.

This, of course, made it all the more delightfully cinematic.

I wish that I could say that, other than the beginning, the story of these particular teens did _not _follow the plot of a million and six teen movies.

Unfortunately, and most irritatingly for those involved, it did. At least in part.

The did not walk into each other one day, stare into each others' eyes and say 'do I know you?'

After all, they had shared a room since they were eleven, they might utterly ignore each other most of the time but they weren't stupid enough not to recognise each other.

They also, to defy the pattern that so often occurs in these situations, had not suffered any drastic physical or mental changes that made them more appealing to others over the course of the summer. If they had done that you'd hope that they would have noticed sooner, after all, they'd been back at Hogwarts and sharing a dorm for almost a week before this particular encounter occurred.

They didn't even manage to run into _each other_. Instead the incident happened after Zacharias knocked over a particularly small second year and Justin stopped to help the kid back to his feet. Justin then turned and told Smith to watch where he was going. Smith responded by telling Justin to mind his own business. They both then continued on their ways.

They did think however. About trivial things like the way that Zacharias managed to look to impossibly haughty and was flawlessly put together even in the mornings and how Justin had, at some point between third year and sixth, morphed from the slightly odd and girly looking member of their dorm into somebody who was in fact quite attractive. Both felt an almost unnoticed twinge of jealousy towards the others' girlfriend.

This of course was overlooking the fact that neither of them had girlfriends but we must assume, for the sake of sensibleness, that this was down to ignorance rather than insanity.

Exceeding ignorance really as it was very common knowledge that nobody in the school was willing to approach Zacharias with any sort of crush or admiration for fear of being ripped (verbally and emotionally) to shreds. It was also fairly public the Justin had turned down almost every single date request he'd ever gotten on the grounds that he didn't feel comfortable dating anybody more than three years younger than him - these, somewhat embarrassing, requests were one of the few downsides to looking out for the younger years.

AS you can see, following the encounter, life went on. For several hours actually before Padma Patil stepped on a snail. That particular life was tragically cut short.

However, I am not telling a story about a snail - this time.

I am telling the story of Justin Finch-Fletchley and Zacharias Smith. Although I'll be straight with you here is regards to the fact that in the weeks following this event nothing exceptional happened other than a few similar and equally easily overlooked incidents. That's why, as far as you need to know, our story continues a few days before Halloween.

The date in itself is not very significant. Wizards do not celebrate Halloween in the same way Muggles do. There were no costumes, masquerades, or even trick or treating when the night itself arrived at Hogwarts. The feast was exceptional though. What we have been waiting for occurred prior to all this though. On the twenty-seventh to be precise.

It was, as they say, a day like any other. The sky was overcast and most sensible people had declined to leave their dormitories without a jumper.

One of the less sensible people happened to be Sophie Richards. She was a second year Ravenclaw and although she was very academic, she was a little lacking in common sense. She was a nice child but somewhat sickly and in desperate need of some warmth as she made her was across the grounds from her morning walk. One must remember that Hogwarts' grounds are very big and so the distance the poor girl needed to cover would take her a good length of time.

I am afraid I am forced to leave you in the dark as to what Justin Finch-Fletchley's intentions were as he walked the grounds on that dull morning. Perhaps he had been to meet with someone, he could have simply felt the urge for a stroll, or even have been out _looking_ for younger students to aid. It is possible we shall never know.

What we do know is that Justin Finch-Fletchley, upon seeing the shivering girl, made the noble decision to shed his sweater and offer it to the Ravenclaw as protection for the remained of her journey. Sophie Richards may have been foolish about such matters but even she would not make the mistake of turning down such help.

Justin, revealing a dim streak of his own, continued his journey – now jumper free.

Ten minutes later, it was he who was shivering. Coincidentally, ten minutes later was also the time that Zacharias Smith decided it was time to stop his personal Quidditch practise. More intriguingly still, at that moment in time Justin just so happened to be passing the Quidditch pitch.

I wonder if any of those who are experienced in the field of cliché are willing to make a prediction of what occurred next.

Regardless, the incident did occur and the two teens, as is traditional, collided roughly, sending the larger down on top of the smaller. In this particular instance, Zacharias landed on top, although the gap between the duo was little more than an inch in height and both were fairly slim.

There was a moment of tense awkwardness before Smith pushed himself to his feet. He did not attempt to help Finch-Fletchley.

"Idiot," muttered the blond, "And you're presumptuous to nag others about watching where they walk."

Justin wasn't at all offended by the remark as he regained his footing, "My apologies," he said softly, "I hadn't seen you."

Smith rolled his eyes just as the wind changed to blow quite sharply towards them. Fortunately for him his face did not become stuck.

Justin, however, was less lucky and the sudden change of the breeze caused him to shiver quite violently. Smith raised his eyebrows. He was quite good at it – he managed to make it look cool.

"Cold?" he asked which was bit of a ridiculous question considering he already knew the answer. It might have been excusable had he said it with concern but he didn't – he honestly seemed to need to be informed.

Justin, equally shamefully, shook his head. It is strange how even somebody from a house famed for its honesty would lie so instinctively under certain circumstances.

Apparently, Smith was not as oblivious as he seemed however.

"Yes you are," he snorted, "A galleon says you're freezing to death right about now."

"It's only October," Justin protested, "Perhaps if it was winter that bet would do more good to your wallet."

Smith smirked, "Oh well. What, may I ask, is one such as yourself doing wandering the grounds at this hour anyway?"

Justin glanced at his watch - it had, unfortunately, stopped. However he'd left the castle at around seven thirty and had been walking for less than half an hour which made it, by his logic, a perfectly reasonable hour to be walking around. Smith's question was a bit unusual anyway when you considered that it was really none of his business.

Justin shrugged and shivered again. Smith responded by raising a single eyebrow. Justin was a little bit impressed - he'd never mastered that particular trick.

"I think you _are_ cold," Smith commented, "What possessed you to go out without a jumper anyway?"

"I didn't," Justin replied hotly, "I just loaned mine out. Sophie Richards didn't have one on her and she's only a second year - it wouldn't be right to let her get sick."

Smith snorted, "But its okay for you?"

"I have a better immune system than her," Justin protested, "I won't _get_ sick."

"Still stupid," Smith muttered, "Giving your stuff to some Ravenclaw brat."

"There's nothing wrong with helping people," Justin said.

To be honest this whole conversation is a little redundant. Both of them were very set in their opinions and neither was presenting a strong argument if they were sincerely attempting to convince the other. They were just talking for the sake of it.

"I thought you might say that," Zacharias said, "Defending innocent little children - it matches what I know about you."

Justin, being only human and utterly untrained in Legimency, was perplexed, "What you know about me?"

The look in Zacharias Smith's eyes was almost predatory as he turned on Justin, "Yes, what I know about you. You're interesting you know Justin Finch-Fletchley. I've shared a dorm with you for nearly seven years but I still don't think I know the half of you. I don't think anybody does. You talk to Macmillan sometimes, or Abbot, or Bones, but you never seem to have any friends. Back at the DA, you had nobody to walk in with, nobody to work with, and nobody you got distracted or off task with. You're the same in classes, always alone and working away like you don't even see the rest of us. You do though - you know every single person in the school by name. All the stupid little firsties - you know their hopes, their dreams, their favourite colours, you know everything they want you too. You'll be a friend to anybody who asks for it. You're not popular though, you aren't cool, you just let people drop you the moment you stop being useful to them. Why do you do it? What do you gain? Why?"

Zacharias had been walking as he ranted, backing Justin up against the stadium wall. The blond looked demented. There was a fire in his eyes that made Justin's nerve endings tingle.

"I don't. It's not like that. I help them out because I _want _too. I'm good with people like that. Being nice without being invasive..."

"So you're skill is in solving other people's problems without getting too close?"

"I-I wouldn't phrase it like that..."

Justin's baffled protests fell on deaf ears. Zacharias had summed the situation up in one accurate, if unnecessarily blunt, statement. Justin scowled, "I don't see what your problem is. It's not harming you."

"Who solves your problems?" Zacharias asked, suddenly backing away.

"Huh? What problems?"

Smith laughed. It was quite possible that by this point he had completely lost his mind. This was not a character from a teen romance movie - this was a real, sincere and slightly agitated person.

"What problems?" he said, "Any problems. I've been watching you help people for weeks and I don't see anybody helping you. Who's listening what you just want to talk about nonsense? Who takes the time to talk to you when you're feeling down? Who gives you their homework to copy and carries your stuff and lends you spare ink? Who takes you up to the hospital wing when you're feeling sick? Who makes sure you're eating well and sleeping properly? Who reassures you when you're feeling stressed? Who lends you a sweater when you're shivering because you haven't got your own?"

There was silence. Zacharias Smith had raised a lot of valid points.

Justin stammered incoherently, searching for an answer, "I, well, it's not really, I, you see..."

"Nobody does do they?" Smith said, already knowing the answer.

Justin glowered, "It's none of your business. You might be cool but you're not exactly the king of popular yourself! Who are you to mock me for the amount of friends I have?"

His reaction was somewhat presumptuous. There had been little, if any, mockery in Smith's words. Then again, Zacharias should have known better than to be ambiguous - the 'Chamber of Secrets' incident ought to have showed them _all_ the dangers of failing to explain one's actions or words thoroughly. Anyway, Justin's point in regards to Zacharias' place to judge was valid.

Justin span (a little melodramatically) on his heel, which would have caused his robes to billow impressively had he actually been wearing any over his (white, button down, fitted and very expensive) shirt and (black, impeccably neat, fitted and very expensive) trousers.

He _would_ have stormed away across the laws, seething and resentful that Smith had not only _noticed _those details of his life but also had the nerve to call him out on them. He _would _have let the spark in his chest, that demanded respect and equality and thanks for his efforts, glow, at least for a few hours, thinking about how fast things would fall apart without people like him who _gave _without asking for anything back. By the end of the day though the spark would fade back into almost nothing, he would carry on as he always did and apologise to Smith for his lapse in temper.

He didn't manage to do any of that however, because Smith seized his wrist and refused to let go. Justin winced, partially because he didn't want to continue the conversation and partially because Smith had a painfully strong grip.

"How is it," Smith said, "That you are given all the same information as me, in the same context, but yet the conclusions you draw from it manage to be so starkly different?"

This is another example of the dreaded ambiguous statement. It would have been far quicker for Smith to simply say what he meant and a clear and concise manner but _that_ would have been far too easy. Instead, - for the sake of cliché - he was beating around the proverbial bush.

"What are you talking about?"

Justin, at least, was intelligent enough to realise that some clear explaining was in order. Smith was unfortunately not at all famed for his cooperation.

He instead grabbed Justin by the collar, slamming him back against the stadium wall and kissing him fiercely.

Justin was momentarily stunned. Zacharias couldn't have done a better job of mystifying him if the blond had hit him with a confounding charm.

After a moment, Justin jerked his head away - looking Smith directly in the eyes.

"Wh-what are you... why?"

Smith smirked; their faces were only inches apart.

"You looked cold."

"What?!"

Zacharias pressed closer into Justin, "You looked cold. I don't have a sweater but I wanted to warm you up. I wasn't mocking you, I was making you an offer. To be the person who helps you carry your books and talks to you and notices you and does all of the things that you _must_ want but never seem to ask for."

"W-why?" Justin, voice was shaking ever so slightly, confusion dominating his face.

"Why not? It's not as if I can stop looking at you and thinking about you. When I see you, it's like you're a freaking magnet or something. _I _want to be _that_ person, the one you don't have, who knows _you_ as you and not just as the 'guy who's very helpful'. I want to be the one you get distracted with and laugh with and I want to be the one who's jokes you laugh at and who you congratulate when Hufflepuff thrash people at Quidditch. I want you," Smith's tone was as intense as the words he said with it. His whole expression was terrifyingly sincere.

Justin wordlessly pressed his lips back against the blond's.

So there they were, making out romantically against the side of the Quidditch pitch - clichéd much?

**A/N - I've just realised - this is now the longest fic I have ever written, both in regards to chapters and word count. :)**


	10. 12 Early Exit

**A/N - You know I'm still offering requests to anybody who want them - hint, hint.**

**12 - White Bedding**

"Smith? Are you- is something wrong?"

Ginny's words were tentative, her curiosity at seeing the man replaced by concern as she took in the appearance of the young man who's presence had startled her so as she wandered through the hospital corridors. There was no fondness between her and the ex-Hufflepuff, they had fought viciously with each other in Hogwarts over every triviality, but her inner compassion allowed her to overlook that. It didn't really matter who it was, she would do her best to help anybody who was sat in a St Mungo's hallway looking like they would be better off dead. Smith was pale and his hands were shaking violently by his sides as he sat, slumped, upon a grey plastic chair in the otherwise empty waiting room. His hair was unkempt and his eyes were unfocused, rimmed with red and encircled with the darkness that most people associated with a lack of sleep. His breathing seemed choked, he had his wand in his hands, twirling it madly.

He didn't appear to hear her question so she slowly sat down next to him. She had the time to spare, her meeting with Harry and the others wasn't for some time yet but she had decided to arrive early, helping somebody, even somebody she didn't like, was worth being late for a casual meeting. She slowly placed a hand on his shoulder and he jerked his head around, finally seeing her. Up close, he looked even worse. There were tear tracks on his cheeks and his bottom lip was bloody. His eyes held no light. Zacharias Smith, with his constant, unwavering, dependable sarcastic cynicism, was lost. He looked desperate for something.

"Smith?" she pressed, "Zacharias?"

He shuddered and made a choked noise, he honestly didn't seem to recognise her. His eyes darted around frantically as he spluttered, "Merlin. What have I done? I'm so sorry. Oh God, Merlin, everything…"

His eyes were moist and his voice trembling. Ginny put her arms around him. It had been a purely instinctive gesture but Zacharias broke down, shaking, with tears seeping through her robes. He was like a child in desperate need of comfort. She pulled his wand away from him. She wasn't sure why but she had a suspicion that letting Smith hold on to his wand would be a bad idea. Although she didn't know why she heard her brain were warning her that the blond might well be considering doing something drastic. She wasn't sure how long they sat like that – it felt like only minutes but it could have been far longer.

"What happened?" she said finally, placing a hand on his.

"I was an idiot," Smith spat, his free hand reached across to the arm nearest her, his nails digging into it in some sort of desperate need to hold on to something, or to punish himself, she didn't know which, "An arrogant, self centred fool. I never gave any thought for anybody other than myself. I jumped to stupid conclusions. I should have been paying attention …now somebody else has to bear the price."

"What- What happened?"

The blond's eyes were glazed as he immersed himself in the memory. Shaking his head, Smith stood up sharply. There were tears in his eyes as he waved his hand towards the door opposite them as if telling her to see for herself.

He stalked out of the room and for a moment Ginny was indignant but then she resigned herself to the fact that she shouldn't have expected differently from Smith. He was clearly still hysterical and, although she wasn't certain, she thought that in the few words he spoke he sounded heartbroken. She was scared about what he was going do. She glanced over to the door off the corridor, it led to one of the few private rooms in the hospital, there weren't many of them in St Mungo's. Most things could be dealt patiently with on the wards. This was the sort of room her father had been placed in during the hours immediately following his snakebite in her fourth year. She wondered who it was that the room currently occupied. Who had shaken Smith to the core? What had happened to them? Who had brought such an emotional outburst to the usually untouchable blond? She stood up, walking slowly towards the door. With a hit of fear she pressed her palm against it, it opened at her touch.

Inside was the usual hospital set up. All clean and white. There was a table covered with potions and even some Muggle medical equipment. The bed was in the centre of the room. There were notes on the end of the bed, line upon line of unfamiliar medical terminology and acronyms. She took a deep breath and steadied herself as she switched her gaze to the bed's terrifyingly still occupant.

For a moment, she didn't recognise the man. He appeared to be glowing slightly silver as the light hit him. It made him look like almost angelic. He had dark brown hair, curly and expensively cut. He was pale, unnaturally so, and his eyes were closed. His features were friendly but there was a hint of the aristocratic about him. He looked slightly surprised but she recognised that faded smile that clung to his lips.

Justin Finch-Fletchley.

She felt her eyes prickle with tears. A schoolmate. He'd probably turned eighteen only recently. A very young adult in the wizarding world and still barely out of childhood by Muggle standards. Seriously harmed enough to be hospitalised.

She glanced at the charts to see what had happened to him. Words jumped out at her, _'mispronounced curse', 'resuscitation attempted',_ _'ministry appended attacker'._

Then she saw it. On the bottom of one of the parchments– his heartbeat detection spell had flat-lined half an hour ago. She let herself cry.

Three floors down, healers drew their wands urgently.

They were too late to save Zacharias Smith.


	11. Nicely Done

Justin Finch-Fletchley was nice. It was one of those facts that nobody would ever consider questioning. You would have to be a completely self-absorbed idiot not to notice. Actually, Zacharias Smith (self-absorbed idiot extraordinaire) knew it better than anyone did.

Everyone had thought that Justin was nice when in first year he had let Hannah Abbot copy off of his history notes for the days she was absent with the flu so that she could keep up with her classes. They were even more convinced when they'd realised he'd done so despite the fact that he had spent hours researching some very obscure facts for it in the hopes of getting a better grade and that if more people had the information his efforts would be devalued.

Zacharias knew Justin was nice when in the run up to the exams Justin took the time out of his _own_ revision schedule to teach Zach the entire year's worth of history work. He had even made the effort to do it in a lively and interesting way that Zach could actually _understand_so that he could pass allofhis first year exams and move up to second year.

Everybody thought that Justin was nice when in second year he made the effort to apologise to Harry Potter over accusing him of being the heir of Slytherin despite the fact that at the time it had been a perfectly reasonable and common assumption. It is always embarrassing to admit that you are wrong and the few students who did were all greatly respected.

Zach knew Justin was nice because he'd apologised over his _minor_ mistake despite the fact that he woke the entire dorm up with his panicked nightmares about being petrified for weeks and months after the attack. Everyone knew that the attacks had been _somebody's _fault but yet Justin had refused to place the blame on _anybody_ despite his victim status.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice for deciding, eventually, to go along with Cedric's plan of showing equal support for Harry Potter in the tournament even when he shouldn't have been in the contest to begin with. It was kindness because he had no obligation to cheer for his year mate but he did it because Harry _might_ appreciate it. He didn't stop even when Harry didn't seem to care.

Zach knew Justin was nice when he straight up ordered their entire dorm _not_ to blame Harry for Cedric's death because it was a tragedy and it was horrible but he refused to believe that Potter was a killer. It didn't matter how alarming the circumstances were – Justin had respected Cedric immensely and his death was overwhelmingly cruel – faith was to be kept in their year mate.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice when he agreed to work with Looney Lovegood in the DA meetings. Her spell work was haphazard and her thoughts and attitudes just plain strange. She didn't have any real friends except Ginny Weasley – who wasn't all that great of a friend and Justin could have found somebody else to work with. He agreed to Luna's request to partner anyway.

Zach knew Justin was nice when Justin agreed to work with him at the next meeting. Justin thought surprisingly highly of _Luna _and her opinions. Zach was just an arrogant prat with an ego and everybody avoided him for it. Justin had been willing to work with him anyway.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice when they heard that during the war he had refused to back down to the death eaters even when they'd attacked him for it. He'd been incredibly brave when he sheltered and protected dozens of wandless Muggleborns and welcomed them into his parents' home. Not many people would have the courage to do that.

Zach knew Justin was nice when he heard from some of the Muggleborns that Justin had helped just how much hard work the teen had put into helping them. It was one thing to listen to people blabber about his heroism and his bravery but it was another altogether to hear eyewitnesses speak of sleepless nights, terrifying sieges and the constant fear that the carefully placed wards around the Northamptonshire mansion would fall to the Death-eaters. Not many people would be determined enough to survive that for the sake of somebody else.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice when he's offered to let Zach stay at his apartment after a long-coming dispute with his father had left the blond homeless. Justin had allowed Zacharias into his space and given him use of his possessions and really what could Justin do that could be nicer?

Zach knew Justin was nice when Justin had _ordered_ him to stay in Justin's apartment when Zach's pride had forbidden him from asking anyone for aid. He's known it when Justin had told him he could stay and that Justin would clear out his spare room for as long as Zach wanted it. When Zach had complained of feeling sore from sleeping on the sofa before the room was prepared Justin had even given up his own room for Zach's comfort. He didn't have a reason to do any of it.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice because he always, _always_ gave his compliments to the chef in a restaurant. It was completely unnecessary any nobody else even bothered with it but Justin insisted upon doing it out of etiquette.

Zach knew Justin was nice when he'd made an attempt at preparing dinner when Justin was busy and Justin had eaten the entire thing and thanked him for putting in so much effort. Zach had tried one mouthful later that evening and hadn't even been able to completely swallow it. As he threw up violently half an hour later he wondered _how_ Justin had managed to look so pleased with his efforts.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice when he talked on and on about giving second chances to people who had made mistakes. It took courage to take a risk on a person you knew had messed up but Justin would firmly insist that some risks were worth it.

Zach knew Justin was nice when after three months and plenty of recipe book reading he attempted to make food again. Justin hadn't looked doubtful or queasy. He'd smiled and tasted some immediately. It had been an amazing compliment when he had said, with a look that said he'd completely expected it, that the dish was delicious. Zach knew it was – he'd tried it before offering it this time.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice when he'd confessed to a paralysing fear of snakes but had insisted that it _wasn't_ attributed to the incident in second year. Very few people were honest enough to admit to cowardice.

Zacharias knew Justin was nice when he'd agreed to take Zach to a Muggle Zoo for his birthday and had even bitten his lip and braved the reptile house. He'd thought it an even nicer gesture after Justin confessed halfway around that his phobia actually stemmed from being bitten by an escaped snake in a zoo as a child and nearly killed. Justin clearly didn't have much luck as far as serpents went. He reconsidered his judgement on the kind-heartedness of Justin's declaration upon noting the traumatised expressions on the faces of many of the younger visitors to the reptile house. It was neither the first nor last time he wondered how he had failed to become best friends with Justin back in their schooldays.

Everyone thought that Justin was nice when he'd written Megan Jones a valentines card in sixth year to make Kevin Whittaker jealous. It had been such a romantic gesture to make for a friend and he'd done it out of pure kindness. Even back then Zacharias had thought it a little irritating sappy.

Zach knew Justin was nice after the Weasley twins had jinxed a sprig of mistletoe to follow Zacharias around insulting him until somebody kissed him. The red-heads had apparently theorised that nobody would be willing to kiss him and so Zach would be followed around by an abusive plant until the spell wore off a few months later. Nobody was quite sure whether Zach or the twins had been more surprised when, upon hearing the explanation for the offensive object, Justin had smiled, wrapped his fingers around Zacharias' sleeve and pulled him forward so that their lips collided.

Zacharias Smith may well have been an arse but that didn't mean he didn't have a bit of a weakness for nice.

**A/N. I'm still at it with the the experimental styles. I can't help it. I can't think of any decent ideas that will work with my usual style of writing. Rest assured things will be back to normal soon though. Maybe now my mocks are almost over and I'm finally beginning to clear my backlog of coursework. Review?**


	12. Fighting again and again and again

**A request/prompt from ****superstarsvtn**** combined at the last minute with Prompt 33: Again and again and again.**

"Thanks," Justin laughed, "I think I get it now."

The Ravenclaw, James Meyers, grinned and walked off across the lawns, back towards the castle. Justin brushed some, imaginary, dirt off of his trousers and wondered what to do next. Ernie was still in Ancient Runes and Hannah had gone to look something up in the library. He could look for Susan but without either of the others to provide a buffer conversation between them was usually awkward. He supposed he could-

His train of thought was cut off by a derisive snort from behind him. He turned, startled, and saw Zacharias Smith leaning casually against a tree and sneering.

Justin tried not to wince. Everything about Smith's aura spelt trouble and Justin was almost certainly his target. Normally Justin tried to stay resolute in the face of troublemakers but this was not a comfortable situation. There was nobody around to intervene and no way he could leave without it being glaring obvious he was intimidated. It didn't help matters that for the last couple of months he'd been picking a variety of fights with the blond over a whole range of things, mostly as an excuse to talk to him without having to confront the realisation that Justin had been crushing on the taller youth for over five months.

"What the hell was that about?" the blond remarked, leaning forward as if to express interest.

"What do you mean? Me comparing charms notes with James?"

"James? Sheesh… I wonder if Ernie is going to start feeling replaced?"

Just bristled, it was just comparing notes, they weren't even friends, more like acquaintances, and certainly not best friends. Why on earth was it suddenly Smith's business anyway. He usually kept to himself.

"Or maybe he won't. I'm sure you could probably try managing a best friend and a boyfriend…"

Justin choked. _Boyfriend?! What the hell!_

"Don't really think you stand a chance to be honest – you aren't his type."

That cut deep. Probably deeper than Zacharias realised. It was one thing for somebody to tell you that you'd be rejected by somebody you don't even like, it's another all together when you fancy the person telling you that you aren't good enough for whoever it is.

"Not even the best of efforts," Zacharias continued, "Help in class is such a cliché way to try and get to talk to somebody."

"I was not trying to get him to talk to me," Justin defended.

Smith pushed himself away from the tree and strode closer, "Oh really because that's what it looked like from here. Perhaps you're just trying to encourage the idea that Hufflepuff is a house for morons."

"That's a load of rubbish – if I were so much of a _moron_ I wouldn't be in NEWT level Charms to begin with!"

"Of course you would – they even let LONGBOTTOM into NEWT level charms!"

Justin paused. The presence of Neville Longbottom in the class did weaken their reputation a little.

"He barely made it in," Justin protested feebly, "And he's hardly keeping up with the rest of us."

"Whatever," Smith muttered, "The issue is you sucking up to a Ravenclaw to try and improve your grades."

"I wasn't – we were just talking."

"You were just making him think our house is completely useless by sinking to the level of _flirting_ with him in the hopes that he would pity you enough to let you copy his work. How far would you have bloody gone?!"

Justin was shocked. He hadn't been flirting. Had he? He'd never considered it. Flirting wasn't something he had any reason to do. And where exactly where Zacharias' accusations headed. Talking to other people wasn't disgracing the house.

"Next thing we know you'll be betting on them winning at Quidditch!"

Zacharias was ranting now. They'd had enough arguments to know how this would end. Justin would try and make a reasonable point, Zacharias would refute it in any way possible and they'd both storm off in the end and need several hours to cool down.

"You're so fucking desperate – it's a miracle anybody puts up with you!"

Justin clenched his fists. He would _not_ let this get to him.

"Throwing yourself at anyone stupid enough-,"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP YOU IGNORANT PRICK!"

Smith froze, a look of slight surprise on his face but Justin couldn't bring himself to stop.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! YOU GO AROUND A MILE ABOVE EVERYBODY ELSE AND SNEER AT US ALL! NOT EVERYBODY CAN _BE_ AS GOOD AS YOU SMITH AND MAYBE YOU NEED TO GET THAT THROUGH YOUR SKULL. MAYBE YOU THINK I HAVE NO SELF RESPECT BUT AT LEAST I HAVE RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR BLOODY PROBLEM IS! THE ONLY TIME YOU EVER TALK TO ANYBODY IS WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH THEMAND IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. ESPECIALLY WHEN I-,"

He stopped short. He's nearly said it. Nearly blurted out his secret. Like he wanted to give Smith the ammunition to hurt him.

"When you what?" Smith spat, striding closer, "When you're so high and mighty. The perfect example of innocence. You've started more of our fights than I have. Little pacifistic Justin Finch-Fletchley picking fight with _me_. What's _your_ problem? I've never done anything to you. No worse than I've done to others anyway. But you just get so worked up. So bloody sensitive."

"I'm not sensitive," Justin lied, resisting the urge to back away, "You're just aggressive and arrogant and presumptuous. I don't have a problem with you except for the fact you're an asshole."

"So – it's none of your business," Smith hissed. He was terrifyingly close now. Too close for Justin comfort.

"It is if it's causing other people problems."

"Interfering snob."

"Bullying tosser."

"Bastard."

"Wanker."

Justin couldn't help but roll his eyes at the deteriorating quality of the insults.

"Loser."

"Reject."

"Airhead."

"Fucker."

"Shi- You swore."

Justin raised an eyebrow, "And…"

Smith looked startled, "You never swear."

"Shows how little you know."

"Why would I want to know about you?" Smith sneered, "You desperate little gay-boy snob."

"What proof says I am gay, or are you in denial you're gay, and that's why you're shouting your gob off at me saying I'm gay?!"

"I'm not in denial! I'm so not gay!"

"Oh, oh. Yeah.... Is that's why you're so bothered that I was talking with James?"

Zacharias' jaw dropped, "I DO NOT FANCY YOU! I WOULDN'T EVEN _LIKE _YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH. YOU'RE PATHETIC!"

Justin froze. No. They might argue but they weren't enemies – right? He could feel a weight settle horribly in his gut. Oh Merlin. He'd spent the past few months pining after a guy who _hated_ him. Who really truly saw him as a waste of air. As everything he'd been waiting for somebody to say. Dreading the day where someone would see past the aristocratic manners and the best education the money could buy and see the dreary, talentless boy inside. He felt like he'd been burned.

There was a silence.

"Have you got a comeback or what?"

Justin stayed quiet.

"Well…" Smith raised and eyebrow challengingly, "Nothing? Not surprised."

For the first time in years Justin's composure physical snapped. He lunged forward, twisting his fingers into Zacharias' collar and shoving him backwards several paces into one of the trees.

"Really?" Justin hissed, pressing himself against Zacharias, "Well fuck it then. In for a penny, in for a pound."

He slammed his lips hard against Zacharias'.

For a long moment the taller teen just stood frozen. Justin considered pulling back. It was a bit awkward kissing somebody who wouldn't kiss back.

*************************

Zacharias Smith froze in shock.

Justin was kissing him. Hard.

He smirked into the contact and shifted his hands from their limp positions by his sides to tangle in Justin's hair. He wasn't exactly sure about the whys of what was going on but he didn't really care. He deepened the kiss debating how to reposition them so that the shorter, slimmer teen didn't have him pinned. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy their current arrangement, it was just that as Quidditch Captain it was a bit of a blow to his pride to be held against a tree by somebody who didn't even _play_ Quidditch.

Then Justin pulled away.

Zacharias growled before he could stop himself.

Justin took several steps back, suddenly taking on the body language of a startled animal, his eyes were darting around and he was visibly tense. Zacharias scowled.

"What was that for?" he snapped.

Justin flinched, "I-I… sorry? I didn't think. I just lost it. I-I-I, I shouldn't have kissed you…"

"I don't care about that," Zacharias scoffed, "I meant the pulling away. You really are an idiot aren't you?"

Justin looked at him with blank confusion, "Nnnnnno. I-I…"

"Oh shut up," Zacharias ordered, grabbing the dark-haired teen by the arms and spinning them around so that Justin was now stranded between him and the tree.

"Listen Zacharias," Justin said, his voice shaking but level, "If we could just forget-,"

Zacharias cut him off by tossing him against the tree in a reversal of their previous positions, he wasn't interested in disregarding the incident, "Listen close because I'm not repeating this," he snarled, "I don't know why and I don't really care either but you kissed me."

"I said I'm sorry," Justin retorted, a note of defensiveness in his tone, "Just drop it okay. You're not interested and…"

"And what?" Zacharias muttered as he pushed Justin even closer into the bark, "Do you fancy me or something?"

It had been meant to prompt a denial. That was all it would take to straighten this whole thing out – just one simple claim that it had been an accident and to ignore the whole thing. That was what would be needed to keep things as they were. Instead, Justin flushed, averting his gaze for a moment as if embarrassed, before looking up with a hint of a challenge. A challenge and a confirmation. Things would not be going back to normal. That look was too much of a turn on for things to go back to normal. Whether he made sense of what he was thinking or not Zacharias knew that things wouldn't stay the same between the two of them.

Justin squirmed slightly, trying to free himself from Zacharias' exceedingly firm grip, "Let go okay. I…"

Once again Zacharias cut the slightly shorter teen off. This time with his mouth.

There was something extremely thrilling about it. Ravaging, an utterly baffled, Justin Finch-Fletchley's mouth. Right out on the lawns where everyone who cared to be passing could see. He pulled away and hissed briefly against Justin lips, "I kissed you, with tongue, and I plan to do it again and again - get used to it. End of discussion."

He felt, rather than saw, the answering smirk.


	13. 19 The Best Policy

**OMG – MAJOR LOVE TO EVERYBODY WHO'S REVIEWED THIS! IT IS NOW MY MOST REVIEWED STORY ON ! I NEVER EXPECTED THIS TO GO ANYWHERE – IT WAS JUST A COLLECTION I STARTED FOR MYSELF FOCUSED ON A PARING NOBODY ELSE SEEMED TO HAVE THOUGHT OF! IT'S NOW THE MOST POPULAR THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN! THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**19 – Confession.**

"Zacharias… Hmm… that's a hard one," Hannah muttered frowning in thought.

"Oh for Merlin's sake – it's just a silly game," the blond retorted, leaning back so that his weight was on his arms.

Sitting in a circle on the floor of the Hufflepuff common room were a small circle of fifth, sixth and seventh years engaged, most of them against their will, in a game of truth or dare.

"Well if you hadn't been a wimp and picked truth-," the mousy looking girl retorted.

"Everybody knows your dares are rubbish Han," Zacharias cut her off.

"Well my truth questions aren't!" Hannah snapped.

"Bring it on," Zacharias jeered.

"Fine," Hannah smirked, "Who was the best snog you've ever had? And when and where?"

There was a long pause as Zacharias seemed to reflect on the question, "Easy," he said finally. As he spoke, the bottle in the middle of the group began to glow.

"Are you sure?" Susan teased, "The truth spell says otherwise. Would you rather take a forfeit?"

Zacharias flinched, clearly remembering what had happened to Wayne Hopkins, that had been messy. Wayne didn't play anymore.

"Erm…" he scowled at them as he debated his options.

"What? Never been kissed?" Hannah joked.

"Of course I have! I've kissed plenty of people!" Zacharias blurted indignantly.

"Then what's the problem?" Susan asked.

"Yeah, tell us," Hannah laughed.

"It was…" Zacharias was slowly turning red.

"Go on!" jeered another girl.

"Ah…"

"C'mon," groaned one of the boys.

"JustinFinch-Fletchleylastnewyearataparty!"

There was a pregnant pause.

"Did you just say…?"

Hannah trailed off.

"You did, didn't you?" Susan muttered.

Zacharias glowered, "Oh and what of it?"

There was silence for several seconds before somebody, one of the younger players, began to laugh.

Once one person started, the others couldn't help but join in.

"Does _Justin_ know about this? Where is he anyway?" somebody spluttered finally.

Zacharias frowned momentarily and then shrugged, "No idea."

"He has no idea or you have no idea if he does or not?" Hannah asked, calming down slightly although still rather pink in the face from her fit of giggling.

"I have no idea if he knows – it was New Years Eve and a party. There was drinking involved.

There was a pause, "By that do you mean you have no idea if he knows he was the best kiss you ever had or that he might have no idea you even kissed?"

"I have no idea what he remembers," Zach muttered, "Now can we get on with the game!"

"Okay fine," Hannah said turning back to the bottle and preparing to spin it again.

"Oh – are you playing spin the bottle?"

The entire group looked up to see Justin leaning over the back of one of the sofas gazing at them with interest.

There was an outburst of uncontrollable snickering.

Justin frowned, "What? Is there something on my face?"

"No Justin there isn't anything on your face," Susan said, "You can join in if you like."

"I think I will," he grinned, moving off of the sofa and flopping down next to Zacharias. The blond promptly stood up and walked out of the room.

There was a long silence.

"And what exactly have you guys been doing in this game to earn me that?"

**A/N Sorry for the slight delay on this (especially considering how awesome everybody who reads this has been) – I've been working on kick starting my first ever chaptered story on fiction press and also helping a friend with her own fan fictions and original work. It might be a little while before the next update, as I'll be going away to camp on Sunday but when I return I aim to resume a faster paced flow of stories – this is too much fun to leave alone for long. Also – thanks to CB for the reviews as I couldn't reply in my usual fashion.**


	14. After Code

Six months. Six months the war had been over but things still weren't right. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His friends had forsaken him - when the battle had come he had ran. He called it self-preservation but the thought it cowardice.

He flexed his left hand slowly as he gazed idly around his apartment. It was so dull, so lifeless, he had been sure he'd had a life outside of his friends, certainly outside of school, but yet here he was, on his own, with no real goals, nothing to do and the beginnings of the rather shocking revelation that, without Hogwarts, his life was pretty empty. It wasn't even like he could go throw a Quaffle about. Not anymore. Not since he'd stood up to the Carrows. It had only been one time but once was enough.

Alecto (or maybe Amycus, he didn't really care) had been giving a speech. There was nothing particularly different about this speech, it, like their others, was a sermon on wizarding superiority. The ideas they'd recited were nothing new, they'd reminded the students that magic was strength and therefore Muggles were weak and should be conquered, they'd then called upon witch burnings as an example as to why Muggles were evil and declared that Muggles burned those morals into their children warning them all that those who had 'stolen' magic were actually plotting against wizard-kind. They'd then proceeded to rant away about pureblood superiority and how anybody who did not support the dark lord was scum.

It was at this point Zacharias stood, armed with a head full of facts he'd previously never realised he'd absorbed during Justin's angry rants about science (the dorm was odd without Justin and dull without all of his queer habits - things he'd insisted were normal among Muggles but really made no sense), and laughed. His classmates thought he'd gone mad. He'd thought he'd gone mad. He'd just stood there in the centre of the great hall and laughed like a maniac. It had taken him several minutes to compose himself. Finally he had declared that, in fact, that magic was part of genetics and that Muggleborns were simply witches and wizards whose parents' magical genes had remained recessive. He went on to add that although magic was undeniably powerful Muggle weaponry was capable of killing large numbers of people instantly, that their numbers gave them strength, and that years of surviving without the aid of magic had given many Muggles far more ingenuity than wizards which made their strategies far more dangerous.

This was the point at which the details became hazy, he suspected he may have begun to rant about power to people and revolution and the destruction of stereotypes and the inappropriateness of social norms and other such general nonsense. The next clear memory he had was of the burning pain in his left hand. Burning.

Burning.

Burning.

He'd woken up in his dorm three days later with his hand stinging and sore and immobile. It had taken him weeks to get any use out of it at all and more than likely it would never be the same again. Certainly he had never considered speaking out again. It had been a moment of insanity that he couldn't afford to repeat. So he'd stayed quiet and conformed to the rules and it was assumed the Carrows had broken him of whatever it was (they'd broken him of something that much was certain) and nobody cared because his idea's had come out garbled and they didn't really make sense because all he'd wanted to do was show how stupid the Carrows were but it hadn't done anything because they lived by these prejudices.

He knew the strength of prejudice. His grand-father had been a blood traitor; he defied his pure linage to marry a Muggle who had failed to survive the birth of their first child. He'd raised his son not to hate those of Muggle descent but to be aware of their weaknesses and their fallibility, those lessons had been drilled again into Zacharias but with less certainty because hadn't his own mother had died prematurely (she'd been a pure-blood by her own declaration, but not one of an old family, and what did that make him anyway with a half-blood father and a pure-blood mother, mathematics said three-quarters but that was stupid, and you were supposed to round up, and his paternal grandfather had been the purest of the pure, but purebloods were so narrow minded, and even raised in a wizarding home he'd rather be considered half and half so he told people mixed and declined to add details.)

So here he was. Sitting and losing him in stupid reflections and thoughts that didn't make sense. It was the madness again, settling in with the dust and the silence and the misery because it had been a damn war. People had died. Wayne Hopkins (and when did he ever want to fight) and little Colin Creevey (he'd never liked him but that didn't mean he should die so young) and that girl he'd recognised as being a Ravenclaw who'd graduated two years ago and seventy-four other people at the battle and hundreds more in the build up. Maybe things would never be right. The memories of death and destruction were strewn across wizarding England and parts of Europe and even Asia and Africa and America because all sorts of people had been inspired to do all sorts of things after hearing of the situation in Britain.

It was December. The twentieth or maybe the twenty-third and he was sure he ought to be celebrating but he couldn't approach his old friends after what he'd done and he had no patience for his father who'd stayed out of the war and didn't care one bit. An owl was tapping on his window and he wasn't answering because he didn't want to know. It was probably just a circular even if he'd never seen a circular delivered by such an expensive looking owl before.

He just didn't care. Nobody cared. It was post-war apathy.

The owl crashed rather violently into the window. He decided post-war apathy probably shouldn't stretch to letting a demented owl beat itself to death trying to get a message to him. He flicked his wand at the window and allowed it to swing open. The owl immediately flew in and dropped an envelope on his desk before returning to perch on the windowsill. Zacharias ignored the item. The clock ticked onwards. The owl didn't leave. The parchment envelope stayed where it had been dropped.

It was calling to him. Pulling him away from his empty little world and making him curious. It was the first thing that had sparked his curiosity in a long time. Nobody wrote to him. Nobody. And no public information leaflet came with an owl that waited. No public information leaflet was so carefully addressed in neat, precise hand writing that said: **Zacharias Smith, Flat 3b, Doirth Tower, Drewhaven.**

He slowly reached over to touch the envelope. He tugged it towards him and stared at it. Then he shook himself. He was behaving like a madman. It was just an envelope. He flipped it over and tore open the flap sliding out a sheet of parchment. It was covered in writing. It was different to the writing on the envelope, sloped and almost cursive but it was still just about recognisable as the same hand that had written the address.

_Dear__ Zacharias, I hope this letter finds you safe and well. __Zacharias__ I hope that despite of recent times you have been __merry __and that as the holiday season approaches you will enjoy __Christmas.__ In the past seven years of our very unusual schooling __I__ shall for now continually persist in living in the childish hope that you will understand my need to break contact, while you're a good person and I hope that life suits you well it is time for me to move away from everything magical and abnormal including the people, in recent months it has become clear the whilst a life with magic has certainly been an interesting experience it is time fore me to make a change and whilst to you it may seem a little bit harsh it is time for the end of such childish rubbish. I have experienced many things to alter my view lately and it is time for my childhood to depart and my adulthood to begin, hence the want for a job and family . I have therefore decided that from now and onwards I don't wish to associate with my magical acquaintances any longer and want you to attempt to remain completely out of affairs regarding me and to definitely make absolutely no sort of attempt at contacting me as I wish to spend my years away from wizards. I suspect this letter is unnecessary and you have noticed since several months ago I have utterly ceased keeping contact with the people whom were involved in the magical world and its war. You were a good friend and comrade while it lasted but it is now time to move life on and so I shall apologise and let those times go so that they won't overshadow my future life. It's very hard to try and explain what has made me feel this way about magical life in a way that a wizard like you could understand but this is why I have decided to write you this explanatory letter. I will not deny that there are many things that I shall miss about the convenience of the magical life and I wish that some of the useful perks could stay with me, they add a certain convenience to every day life but it would not be proper to continue them when I plan to stop using magic. You must think I'm insane as you are reading this but now my time in the magical world is over and I must return, for it is my duty, to my previous life, the memories of magic are my burden to shoulder. It is the one honourable and good thing to do, for my future life I shan't attempt to contact you to you this choice of life style may seem to feel an overreaction and a very harsh decision but I would like the security of the lack of the temptation that a meeting with wizards would cause. I don't want my life stirring up trouble so help my pretence that I was never at Hogwarts because for me in my new (or old) life the years there did not occur. I have also sent out three other letters informing all my friends that my years of broomsticks and other such childish fantasies have gone for me forever or at least for me. My real life is out there somewhere and now is the time that I should find it for myself. It is my old life and not something unexpectedly new so I shall need no support other than ignoring those years at Hogwarts. With my full respect and loyalty, yours sincerely,_

_Justin_

He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the letter. The idea of rejecting magic for any reason was insane. The idea of contacting somebody to tell them to never contact you was just plain stupid. Zacharias rolled his eyes. One moment of acting like he was sane and he'd wasted on somebody else's madness.

Then he noticed something. The handwriting on Justin's signature was sloping the opposite way to the rest of the text. He glanced over the letter again. No. Other words were as well. Random words. Or, he realised, as the memory of a childhood trick returned, was there a pattern?

He counted. Every _tenth_ word.

**Dear**

**Zacharias**

**merry **

**Christmas**

**hope**

**you're**

**well **

**everything**

**been**

**a**

**bit**

**rubbish**

**lately **

**my**

**family**

**don't**

**want **

**me **

**contacting**

**wizards**

**since**

**the**

**war**

**but**

**I **

**won't**

**explain**

**in**

**this**

**letter**

**I **

**Wish**

**They**

**Would**

**Stop**

**Reading**

**over **

**my**

**shoulder**

**do **

**you **

**feel**

**like**

**meeting**

**up**

**at**

**the**

**three**

**broomsticks**

**or**

**somewhere**

**for**

**new**

**years**

**Justin**

A message. In a code neither of them had used together since fourth year. A message virtually free of grammar but a clear and effective one all the same. Especially when you considered how hard that code was to write in.

He flipped the parchment over and scrawled a few words down – not bothering with elaborate codes.

_J_

_What about our meeting tonight? Or are you to 'self absorbed' for that now with your ''new family'?_

_Z_

He smirked. Simple and clear. Elaborate cover-up's were Justin's thing so Justin could think of an excuse for leaving. He sent the owl off with the note and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

It was a good thing he had decided to wait until tonight – there was no way he was going out in this state.

_**A/N. Sorry for the wait. Camp and holidays had the opposite effect on my writing to what I expected. I'm not sure about this – it's a bit ranting and weird but I'm still trying to get my brain sorted out for term-time.**_


	15. Half a Letter

Dear **Justin**_**/**__Zacharias_,

Hope you've had a nice _week__**/**_**holiday**. Dreading school – there's nothing worse than _history of magic_**/divination**. Who needs to know that stuff anyway? I can't wait till it's droppable. The weather here is **crap**_**/**__pleasant_ but the company is **alright**_**/**__horrid. _I have something to tell you. _It's kind of awkward_ but I **don't**care what you think. _**I like you. **__In a non-platonic way._ **Like most guy's probably like chicks. **_I'll get it if you don't want to talk to me after this _**I don't like you enough to care if you're a prat about this** but I _hope _**reckon **we can still be friends. **Even if I don't really plan to settle for that.**_I'm just afraid it might be awkward._ So there you have it – I think you're **hot**_**/**__amazing _and **cool**_**/**__gorgeous._

_See you in school_

**Zacharias**_**/**__Justin._

_****************_

In two different rooms, in two different houses, in two different cities, two young men screwed up two almost identical letters for almost identical reasons and resigned themselves to another year of leading two different lives while suffering two identical crushes.


	16. If at first

The day Justin asked him out was the oddest day of Zacharias Smith's life. As a fully qualified wizard, a DA member and a survivor of the second was against Voldemort he had seen and be involved in many strange happening but that had beaten them all.

There had been no prior indication of what was coming. No flirting or awkwardness or any of the usual nonsense that could be seen around the school.

It had been two day's after then end of the NEWT's and he'd been sitting on the lawns idly perusing a copy of Quidditch Monthly when Justin had walked up to him and sat down opposite him.

"Only one more Hogsmeade weekend left now," Justin had said and Zacharias had shrugged disinterestedly.

"Do you want to go with me?"

Zacharias shrugged again, "Sure. Figured the house would be sticking together anyway – celebrating our time and other such rubbish."

Justin paused, "I didn't mean with me and all the others. I don't know what they're doing. I'm asking if you want to go with me."

That has only given Zacharias a momentary pause, "Sure. Whatever."

Justin stood up with a smile and began to walk away before turning around and calling over his shoulder, "As a date? Or is that pushing my luck."

Had his mind been able to process the statement Zacharias would have said something scathing (as he did to anybody foolish enough to ask him for a _date_.

By the time he'd found a retort Justin had long gone with a wry smile and a firm reminder to himself that if at first you don't succeed…

**A/N - Another short and somewhat pointless one - I'm sorry. Some longer ones are coming though - just as soon as my muse and my schedule decide to start co-operating with each other. I already have a plan for spme of the future instalments. Also - I'm planning another fic in which Justin is one of the main characters (see my profile for details). Right no there are no pairings decided so I'm going to ask if any of the readers of this would like me to include this pairing. (or you could just review - those are good).**


	17. Of Love and Truth

"…_I hate the most that you do,  
You make me love you…"_

Zacharias Smith rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Why Weasley felt the need to bitch about her relationship with Potter in public was beyond him, but to put it in song format – what was she _thinking_? Was she thinking?

"Now several people are getting a bit worked up right about now thinking I'm having problems with my boyfriend and that's why I wrote this song," Ginny said as the music stopped, "But that's not true." Zacharias sighed, so not only had she made them listen to her wail on about her relationship problems but they weren't even real relationship problems.

"So I'd like to take this moment to dedicate this song to the person who wrote it about _their_ relationship."

Zacharias glanced back at her. So it was about a real relationship – that was interesting. Other people's 'hurt feelings' were always amusing to mock. He heard an odd choking noise and glanced over to Justin who was looking somewhat uncomfortable. Zacharias rolled his eyes – only Justin would get upset over somebody else's failing relationships. It was sickening really.

Weasley was still ranting on so he turned back to her speech just as she finished, "So thank you very much… Justin Finch-Fletchley."

Zacharias turned to Justin, who had gone sheet white, and his jaw dropped. Around him his other classmates were also reacting with shock he could hear the whispers of: 'oh – how awful,' and 'I didn't know he was in a relationship' and 'hang on – wasn't that song about a guy? Is Justin gay?'

Zacharias simply sat completely frozen as, after a second, his sort-of-boyfriend stood up and slipped out of the room.

Despite the fact that Justin was the person the commotion was about nobody seemed to notice him leave so, after a minute, he stood up and followed the brunet from the room.

********************

It took him almost ten minutes to locate Justin. By the time he'd found the teen, slumped under a tree on the fringe of the forbidden forest, he'd been on the verge of giving up and returning to the ceremony. It wasn't the sort of place he would have expected Justin to go but there was clearly nobody else it could have been.

"Oi!" he called out as he walked over. Justin jumped and looked up at him, turning away upon recognising him.

Zacharias scowled and moved so that he was standing opposite Justin, towering over him. "So you wrote that song for Weasley…"

Justin sighed, "The gist of it. She changed bits but most of it's mine."

"A random burst of creativity?" Zacharias sneered, "Or perhaps based on something…?"

When he spoke Justin's tone was sullen, "You know exactly where it came from."

Zacharias raised his eyebrow, "Oh really? So it's based on real life is it? There's somebody whose been bothering you?"

"You know exactly who it's about," Justin muttered.

There was a long tense silence.

"Me," Zacharias snapped, "Really? You wrote the Weasley brat some bitchy little song and it was all inspired by me. Merlin, you're a drippy little git aren't you!"

Justin didn't say anything.

"So you got into a fucking snit and went whinging to her about how I'm so annoying and how you're totally sick of the way I act?"

Justin glanced up at him, "I didn't say _anything _to her. I just offered to help her with her song-"

Zacharias rolled his eyed and scoffed, "So I'm a superficial, self-centred arsehole! Guess what? I'm only fucking human! You've always known that – quit bitching!"

"I…"

But the look on Zacharias' face silenced Justin. The blond knew he looked haughty and angry but he rather felt that Justin deserved to feel his temper. _Everybody_ knew that Zacharias had an attitude problem. What the hell had Justin been expecting – that having some sort of relationship would alter his personality.

Justin climbed slowly to his feet, "I don't care Zach… I just don't. I know who you are and what you're like. It's not your personality that bothers me…"

"So I bother you now!" Zacharias spat, "Shit – why am I even talking to you?! There just isn't any point!"

"You think I don't feel the same some times! I'm not stupid you know! I haven't deluded myself into thinking this is something it isn't. As far as your concerned I'm starting to think the only reason we have anything even close to a relationship is because you want somebody to stroke your ego and satisfy your libido while you wait for someone better to come along."

Justin's yell echoed across the grounds.

Zacharias took half a step back, his eyes wide. His boyfriend's fists were clenched and he was shaking violently.

One of the lines from the song echoed suddenly in Zacharias' brain.

"_And the seventh thing I hate the most about you,  
__**You make me love you…"**_

Zacharias gasped, "You…if your getting so mad about little things then… how do you feel about me?"

Justin shrugged and turned away, "I'm sick of your attitude."

"Yeah but how do you _feel_?" Zacharias snapped, suddenly terrified of what he was going to hear.

"I'm still here aren't I!"

Zacharias took a deep breath, steadying himself, "This is more that just a thing to you isn't it?"

Justin looked him straight in the eyes, "Yes – okay!" he confessed, the paused, "Yes… I love you. There I said it!"

Zacharias was speechless. He'd expected feeling but Justin… loved him?

He opened his mouth to respond but the hesitated. He examined his… his boyfriend, and realised with shock that Justin wasn't just shaking and angry looking. There were tears in his eyes. Justin was being deadly serious. A minute passed in frozen silence, and then another.

Finally Justin shook his head, "Forget it," he said, his voice quivering, "Just forget it. This is stupid. This was never a serious relationship. I just… I was stupid. I know you aren't serious about any of it. We already said that bit about me just being there to entertain you until somebody better came along. But at least you know what my bloody problem was now. Not that you were conceited or spiteful or any of that. I didn't mind that. That's the whole freaking problem. That I love you. And you don't even particularly like me."

Justin gave a slightly bitter chuckle and turned away.

"Do you really think that?" Zacharias blurted, embarrassed by how confused he sounded. "Honestly and truly?"

Justin stopped and sighed, "Yes. Okay…. Please… just drop it."

"No," Smith said, striding to stand in front of Justin. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you truly believe what you said."

Justin's eyes were full of pain as they met Zacharias' and for a moment the blond felt a little sickened with himself for being the cause, his voice was level though, despite how cracked it was, "I told you the truth – we both know that."

Zacharias stared at the shorter teen and knew that Justin was being honest. He truly believe everything that he had said about them. Both of them were stood there out on the lawn, a light breeze fluttering around them, and Justin really thought that Zacharias felt that way. Zacharias wrapped his hand around the curly haired teen's arm. Memories of the past few months flooded his mind and Zacharias struggled between laughing and sobbing. The last four months had been nothing short of amazing fun but gazing upon the vulnerable and half-way to heartbroken teen in front of him he realised that he'd made an absolute mess of them.

He glanced up towards the school. Lights were still burning clear in the great hall and he knew the ceremony was almost certainly still going. He tightened his grip on Justin's arm and began to drag him towards the castle.

"Zacharias!" Justin yelped, stumbling across the lawn, "Don't… let go!"

Zacharias ignored him and in less than a minute he was dragging Justin through the entrance hall and into the great hall. People near the doors turned too look at them but Zacharias moved forwards without caring, up on the stage he could see that a Ravenclaw fifth year was talking about something but he didn't really care. He pushed past the crowds and the professors and dragged Justin up onto the platform. For a moment he stared out at the school, over three hundred faces staring back at him in shock and confusion, and then he ignored them and turned to face Justin.

The confusion was evident in his face and there was a hint of fear in his hazel eyes. Briefly Zacharias wondered how the situation had escalated to this but then he let his mind go blank as he pulled Justin close.

He'd never put much thought into his kisses before, preferring to go with his instincts and his partner's response. But not this time. This time he had a message to convey. He had to make Justin understand their situation.

It was a slow kiss, deep and gentle and not like him at all but he kept it going, watching Justin shut his eyes and relax into the contact and hoping, praying he realised, that Justin would understand. Finally he pulled away. He was suddenly very conscious of the silence in the room and the stares of his classmates. Suddenly a voice rang through the silence.

He recognised the speaker as Alix Browes, a fifth year girl who lived for gossip, as she blurted out, "I did _not_ see that coming."

The chatter began then, whispers and gasps and startled laughter. Zacharias blocked it all out and focus on Justin who looked uncertain and nervous.

"Justin," he said slowly, a note of desperation in his voice, "I'm in love with _you_. Understood? I might be a bastard but I'm a bastard whose in love with you."

He paused, waiting, hoping that Justin would believe him. The room was quietening down now as the students realised that the spectacle was not yet over. Justin still looked somewhat hesitant to accept Zacharias' words.

"I swear… Justin, really, I never meant for you to see my actions the way you did," Zacharias pressed. Justin closed his eyes and turned away.

Zacharias felt something inside of him die a little as Justin took a few steps away from him both with hurt and with guilt.

"I'm lying!" he blurted suddenly, unable to let himself get away with what he had said, and Justin paused.

Zacharias took a deep breath, "I didn't actually care how you saw my actions, I didn't think about it, I only thought about myself."

Justin turned slightly to look at Zacharias.

The skinny teen continued, "It never even occurred to me to think about your feelings. I only said that to make you agree with me. I only even began to think about your feelings when you said you loved me. Prior to that I hardly even considered you as if you _had_ feelings. I only started thinking when you said I didn't even like you because I knew that, at least, wasn't true. I only realised I was in love with you about a second before I said it. I wasn't at all deep or well thought out…"

He would have gone on further if Justin hadn't suddenly closed that gap between them and swallowed his words in a violent kiss.

"All I wanted to hear…" Justin muttered, "Was the truth… was that last bit."

Zacharias smirked.

**A/N: The song '7 Things' belongs to Miley Cyrus and the trauma you might have recieve from reading excerpts of the lyrics belongs entirely to you. And people - if you're reading this, I would love some reviews. I don't seem to be getting a lot of responses for this so if people could give feedback I'd love them. I'm still taking prompts and requests as well.**


	18. Better than

**For bealen - who requested Justin being the one to screw up the relationship for once.**

Justin, Zacharias mused, was at _least _as much as a prat as he was. It was just that he was more noticeable about it. This was the third time this month Justin had stood him up. Perfect, courteous, civilised, gentlemanly Justin Finch-Fletchly was apparently completely incapable of actually showing up for a date. At least if Zacharias was rejection somebody he did it outright.

It didn't seem very fair or very Hufflepuff for Justin to be behaving the way he was. Zacharias had casually suggested they date, Justin had accepted, and absolutely nothing had happened. If Zacharias had been the sort of person to get hopeful about this sort of thing he would have found Justin awfully disappointing. As he walked out of the café, a little-visited place nestled at the end of Diagon Alley, he decided that he was quitting. Because frankly he was Zacharias Smith and he didn't do trailing around like a lost puppy after a 'crush' and Justin had another thing coming if he thought that he could just walk all over Zach like that.

No. Next time he saw Justin Finch-Fletchly he'd make it quite clear that he didn't need him one bit. Never mind that it stung his heart a little to think so.

**A/N - More of a drabble than a one-shot but I'm working my way back into fan fiction after a shaky few months. (Right in time for my exams to start!) Will not even **_**try **_**begging for reviews, I probably deserve flames after a disappearance like I pulled.**


	19. Cold

**A/N For ****breeutiful****, who back in '09 requested bare feet and more Hannah. I've only hit one of them in this, but the other may be yet to come. Sorry about the mega-lateness.**

_He raised his wand, his mind racing through five and a half years of defence against the dark arts classes and a summer of fencing lessons as he searched for an escape, any escape. Harry had talked about it in the DA once, how much harder it was to really fight, how practising the spells on cushions in a classroom could only ever teach you so much. Harry had apparently been more right than any of them had imagined. His mouth opened but all that came out was a garbled choking noise, his wand sparking uselessly. The… the death eater he presumed, although he only had the daily prophet to go on for death eater recognition advice, strode closer, and in amongst the nauseating fear he felt a flash of indignation at the fact that he clearly wasn't even being considered a threat, and laughed, inhumanly deep and cold._

_"Crucio."_

He awoke silently, his eyes widening and his muscles tensing. Deep breaths. That was the key. But god, he couldn't stay put. He dragged his way out of the tangle of sheets and strode as quietly as possible out of the dormitory. The common room was empty, the last embers of the fire fading away, but for the first time since his arrival the room felt stifling rather than safe. Hogwarts wasn't new or exciting anymore, magic no longer a light-hearted novelty, and there were times he'd wondered if he might have been better off never having received his letter. He exited the common room, glad that the portrait was of desserts and so unable to comment on his actions in the way other portraits sometimes did. He shivered slightly as he stepped out onto the corridor, the common room's cosy atmosphere made it easy to forget that winter had set in, leaving the castle with a constant chill kept at bay only by the constant maintenance of the fires. Still, it would keep him wakeful and ensure that he didn't slip back into his nightmares, as he was liable to if he remained in the warm.

He dropped to the ground, settling himself against a wall and letting the cold slip through his thin cotton garments as he shut his eyes and attempted to push back the memory of the dream.

"You know, if you get pneumonia and you extremities drop off, I shan't pity you."

"That's frostbite," Justin replied, drawing his eyes upwards to meet Zacharias's gaze. Clearly, he hadn't been as quiet as he'd thought.

"I know, I was just testing you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, if you'd got it wrong I'd have diagnosed hypothermia and dragged you up to Pomfrey's, where she'd give you the rollicking of the year for dragging her out of bed at this hour. Which brings me to the question of what you're doing up anyway."

Justin shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

"And you couldn't not-sleep back in the warmth?"

"Had a nightmare," Justin confessed.

Zacharias rolled his eyes. "So you felt the need to freeze yourself?"

"I don't want to go back to sleep yet," admitted Justin, "And the cold helps with that."

"There's got to be better ways to stay awake then sitting out here in your bare pyjamas catching your death," Zacharias said exasperatedly.

Justin let his eyes drop to both of their bare feet, and then back up to the goose bumps that were already clearly visible on Zacharias' forearms. "I guess." He made no attempt to move.

"If you want amusing so badly as all that I'm quite happy to trounce you at chess again," Zacharias suggested, with a rather magnanimous aura.

Justin raised an arm and allowed the blond to drag him to his feet, Zacharias announced the password, then dragged Justin back in, adding, "Anyway, I've told you a thousand times, puffskeins don't eat meat, let alone people, no matter what experiments those Weasley twins conducted on them."


	20. Shame

It had been drizzling persistently all day, just enough for Zacharias not to want to be outdoor, but not enough for him to be able to ignore years of being taught that apparating into a house, even one's own, was the high of rudeness, especially if somebody else was in. Still, apparating onto the doorstep was sufficient to keep him dry, as he only needed to tap the lock with his wand and he was inside.

Re-pocketing his wand and handing his cloak up on one of the pegs, he made his way into the living room. Justin had his head stuck into the fireplace, which was glowing green. Justin had recently arranged for his mother's home to be connected to the floo network and was already seriously regretting the decision. Zacharias wandered into the kitchen and made himself a mug of tea, before returning to listen in on the call.

"Oh no, that's just Zacharias, he's a friend of mine from school, he's probably just coming to pick something up."

Zacharias stopped short, placing his mug down on the coffee table, as Justin sighed. "No mother, but there's no rush about it. I… yes… okay… fair enough… look, I'll been home next weekend, can't we leave it until then. Okay, alright, alright… bye. No mother, I'm going now. I'll talk to you next time I see you. Yes… no… _Goodbye_."

Justin pulled his head out of the fireplace, running his fingers through his hair. There was a smudge of soot on his cheek and a resigned look on his face, but Zacharias wasn't interested in that.

"A friend from school? Coming to pick something up?"

Justin winced. "Yeah sorry, it was my mother, so y'know…"

"No," Zach replied, "I can't say I do know. What the hell? I _live _here. And I'm not just some friend from school, I'm your boyfriend. Do you often lie to you mother?"

Justin flushed. "Well no, but it's… I mean I…"

Zacharias raised one eyebrow questioningly.

"She doesn't know about you, she's waiting for me to get a girlfriend," Justin confessed.

"If she doesn't know, then why don't you just tell her rather than lying?" Zacharias pressed, exasperation filling his tone.

"She's waiting for me to get a _girl_friend," Justin repeated, like that made all the difference.

"So what? Are you ashamed of me or something?"

Justin opened his mouth to snap out a defence… then hesitated. "I…"

Zacharias waited, with a growing sense of dread as Justin floundered for a response.

Justin swallowed, closing his eyes, and swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're pathetic," Zacharias spat.

Justin winced, but didn't deny the statement.

Zacharias growled, "Seriously? That's it? You're ashamed to be with me and you're not even going to try and defend yourself? What the fuck Justin! Why did you even say yes when I asked you out? It's not like you didn't know what you were getting into! What am I – not good enough for your perfect reputation? You've known me since we were eleven, what's so wrong with me that it's okay for me to be your friend but not your boyfriend?"

"I'm sorry!" Justin repeated, pleadingly, "I just… can't."

Zach sneered. "Is it because I'm not a good little saviour-worshiper? Because I didn't fight at Hogwarts? Because I'm a pureblood and a coward and I did the _smart _thing? Who aren't I good enough for? Whose opinion means so much to you that you would chose their respect over me? What the fuck's your problem with me?"

"It's not just about you!" Justin replied, voice cracking, "It's not anything about your personality!"

"THEN WHAT IS IT?"

"Zach… you're, well, of for heaven's sake you're male!"

Zach's eyebrows travelled slowly towards his hairline. "What in Merlin's name does that have to do with anything? You're Muggleborn, it's not like you have to worry about succession legitimacy."

Justin sighed. "That's just it. I'm Muggleborn. If your family finds out about us the worst thing they'll do is complain about you not carrying on the bloodline, if my family knew…"

"If your family knew… so what?" Zacharias pressed, impatient with Justin's attempts to deflect the argument away from its true focus.

"Zach, in Muggle society homosexuality was against the law until the late 1960s. My parents grew up being taught that it was a _crime_. They're tolerant and open minded people - they've dealt with me being a wizard; they've dealt with me not going to university; they've dealt with me not going to work for my father's company – but I _can't _ask them to deal with this!"

Zacharias drew his wand and braced himself to disapparate; an icy calm overcoming him. "And I'm not willing to deal with you lying to them about me. It's your choice."

He vanished with a sharp crack.

_**A/N – I knew it'd been too long since I last wrote Harry Potter fic when I realised I'd forgotten how to spell apparate.**_


	21. Going Postal

"Have you heard?" Justin began, rather shrilly, as he flung himself on a chair next to Zacharias in the common room. "Ernie's just told me, can you believe it? It's completely out of line, I can't… I mean who does she think she is?"

"Umbitch? High inquisitor of Hogwarts and senior under-secretary to the ministry, I'd imagine. Unless somebody's confounded her or something. Have you?"

"Of course I haven't," Just snapped, "This isn't a laughing matter Zach. She's crossed a line. Also, don't call her that, you don't know who might be listening."

Zacharias made a show of looking around the room, "Hmmm… given it's only us and the firsties in here, and they're busy being noisy, I'd hazard a guess I'm okay. Unless you're sucking up to her all of a sudden."

"Oh shut up," Justin replied dismissively. "But really, what do you think? She's being totally unreasonable, it can't be allowed. I'd be surprised if there wasn't a law against it. It's awful, you must agree with me?"

"No, because I have no idea what you're talking about."

"She's checking owl post, opening packages and monitoring correspondences," Justin announced, "I'm sure it's an infringement of our rights."

"And I'm sure I don't care."

Justin looked at him as if he'd announced he kicked puffskeins off the astronomy tower for fun, and so he elaborated. "So a few people's post is getting intercepted – who cares? It's all dross anyway –_ 'Dear whoever, how are you? See you in July'. _Does it really matter?"

Justin rolled his eyes, "It's the _principle _of the thing. They aren't her letters to read, so she shouldn't be."

"Well sure, but it's not like it actually affects either of us. Unless you're planning something I don't know about?"

"We're both in the D.A," Justin reminded him.

"Yeah but I'm writing home about it am I? Wait… tell me you haven't."

Justin shook his head, "I'm not _that _stupid, and at any rate I think it'd be a rather ill-advised thing to tell mother about. I'm sure most people's letters are fairly…"

"Uninteresting?" Zacharias suggested.

"Well… yeah. I just… first they're reading our letters, but who knows what it could escalate too."

"Yeah, next they could start telling us what to do… oh wait – school rules, so they do," Zacharias cuffed Justin's shoulder and rolled his eyes, "You worry too much. It'll all be fine."


End file.
